Winner and Losers At The Grammy Awards

  • By Kim
  • 11 February, 2013
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I sort of have mixed feeling about the Grammys. I know it’s supposed to be music’s most prestigious night, but the award itself doesn’t seem so prestigious. Maybe it’s because music seems so subjective and what is considered “good” music is always going to be controversial. The musicians themselves don’t seem to treat the Grammys as prestigious – nobody cries or gets all emotional. It seems that if you sell enough records, at some point you’ll receive one or be nominated for one. I mean come on. LMFAO got nominated for a Grammy. Stop it.

Last night’s Grammy awards were no different than usual. Lots of musical performances and light on the speeches. Actually, the most unusual thing was the strong showing for rock (Black Keys, Mumford and Sons, Fun.) in the top awards. However, the show did seem to drag on and on, so by the mid-way point, I sort of tuned out and started playing Castleville. I know, I really AM the laziest pop culture enthusiast.

I did watch the whole ceremony though and am happy to provide you with a few winners and losers in case you missed it. You too can participate in today’s watercooler chatter with astute talking points!

Winners

  • LL Cool J was a suitably bland, but good looking host. You know if was a special occasion because he wore his formal Kangol. Thanks, SNL.
  • Fun. creates a rainstorm on-stage and still manages to keep the electricity on, Beyonce.
  • Wiz Kalifa’s wearing a fly zigzag suit and Miguel sounding amazingly sexy on live TV.
  • Jay Z and his snifter of brandy win for giving zero f***ks of the night.
  • Justin Timberlake’s Don Draper hair.
  • Kelly Rowland looking HOT in some kind of cutout gown that covered up the most crucial parts of her lady parts.
  • Frank Ocean being adorable and awkward during his acceptance speech for Best Urban Contemporary Album.
  • Black Keys keeping it super casual in matching leather jackets and doing a rocking rendition of Lonely Boy with the Preservation Hall Jazz Band and a large flightless bird on keyboard. (Dr. John)
  • Kelly Clarkson is a dork accepting her award and then owning the room during her rendition of Natural Woman
  • While accepting the award for Best Rap Collaboration, The Dream telling Frank Ocean to ‘back up’ so he can give his speech, then Jay-Z? thanking the swap meet for The Dream’s hat. Jay-Z for Secretary of Keeping It Real, already.
  • Bruno Mars and his band that has slick moves. Then out comes Sting. Boom. All the celebs looking goofy singing Locked Out of Heaven.? Stars, they’re just like us!
  • Bob Marley’s tribute and rendition of Could You Be Loved, was the best of the night. Everybody’s on stage: Bruno Mars, his band, Sting, Rihanna, Damien Markey and Ziggy Marley.

Losers:

  • Taylor Swift’s Alice in Wonderland Cirque Du Soleil opener. She also got in a dig at ex Harry Styles during We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. It would be kind of funny if it were someone else.
  • John Mayer’s purple velvet jacket that he mugged from Prince.
  • Blech. Lena Dunham is there. I just can’t with her.
  • Johnny Depp is still in Captain Jack mode.
  • All of us who have to look at Chris Brown and Rihanna all night. Gross.
  • All of us who have to listen to Mumford and Sons. AHHHH WILL WAIIIITAHHHHWILL WAIT FERR YOUUUUU.
  • Justin Timberlake and his sepia tinted broadcast. I get the song is old-timeyish. It doesn’t have to look old-timey.
  • Jack White is looking more and more like a rhinestone wearing Professor Snape.
  • Carrie Underwood’s weird projection dress. It looks like images are shooting out of her crotch and she very weirdly cannot move.
  • My boyfriend, because after the Lumineers sing their folksy song, I keep yelling ‘Hey!’and ‘Hahhh!’ and clapping into the air at random intervals.
  • Prince admitting that he likes the song Someone That I Used to Know. You just lost major cred with me, P.
  • Justin Beiber, who was not nominated had a little bitch fit and didn’t attend. He then tried to do a livestream to counter-program but Beliebers overloaded UStream. Biebs then HAD to post a shirtless photo to compensate. This is all so sad.

 

A full list of actual Grammy winners can be found here.

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