2013 Golden Globe Predictions

Happy New Year, YesTotally Readers! If you thought those drunken parties, were over, guess again. One of my favorite nights is almost upon us: The Golden Globe Awards! Yes, everyone loves the Oscars and it’s so much more prestigious to win an Academy Award, but the Golden Globes is where it’s at. Thrown by the mysterious Hollywood Foreign Press, the Globes are a sit-down dinner where the booze flows freely. Celebs are free to mingle with each other as well as snipe behind each others’ backs. It. Is. Terrific. So, here are a few of my predictions for the Golden Globes, airing next Sunday, January 13th.

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will be excellent hosts – There’s no question that these two will deliver. As Saturday Night alums, their brand of humor is safe enough to not offend insiders, but sharp enough to get in a few good digs. I’m expecting a few digital shorts or tie-ins from each of their respective shows (30 Rock, Parks and Recreation) including appearances from their many celebrity friends. Actually, I’ll just be waiting for the Jon Hamm Comedy Cameo. As they said in their GG promo, they’re ready to host this “sloppy, loud party.”

More excellent work by camera crews – The Golden Globes are so much more fun than the Oscars since the stars are sitting communally and are massively drunk. The camera crews have become very savvy at cutaways, making sure to get excellent reaction shots. They know which stars have expressive, reactive faces versus the poker faced. They know to cut to Jennifer Lopez when Ben Affleck is speaking so the audience can see if there are any lingering feelings. They know to cut to Elton John when Madge is giving her acceptance speech. Jezebel has rounded up some great on-screen moments from last year here and here. Keep rocking camera peeps!

Django Unchained table will be the loudest – There will be no way for folks at home to verify this, but any table with Quentin Tarentino, Leo DiCaprio, Jamie Fox, and Samuel L. Jackson is going to be rowdy. I’m guessing the Argo table will come in at a close second.

Zooey Deschanel will wear something fabulous, Lena Dunham will wear something hideous – This is based on nothing but gut feelings.

Some actor will wear a stupid bolo tie – God. It would be Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones or someone.

Jon Hamm snubbed – He’s won a Globe before, but yet that Emmy win has been elusive. What’s up Emmy’s? Why you gotta be acting like that for? Give it up to Hammbone! Since Mad Men was not nominated this year, it’s likely Hamm will not win even though it’s deserved. It’s okay, Jonny – I’ll comfort you, babes.

Breaking Bad snubbed; Homeland will win everything – I don’t watch either Breaking Bad or Homeland; not by choice, but because I don’t have Showtime and I don’t have a Netflix Streaming account. But without being spoiled, I’ve heard the buzz about both of these two shows all throughout 2012. Apparently, Breaking Bad has had one of the best season EVARR. However, Homeland still has a lot of ‘new show’ buzz and the advantage of winning last year. With Mad Men out of contention, it’s likely Homeland will take the award again. Mandy Patinkin, holla!

Argo over Lincoln – I’m predicting Argo will win over the epic biopic. Lincoln, while a Spielberg picture was not as universally lauded as the popular Argo. As it’s also the Foreign Press, an international story like Argo will probably resonate more with voters than the very American-centric Lincoln.

Image via Geeks of Doom

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