How To Make A Vodka Watermelon

  • By Kim
  • 28 August, 2013
  • Comments Off

Wow, you guys. Labor Day is already next Monday. You know what that means: Summer is OVER. Booooooooooo! *cue sad trombones* Every year, I’m the party guest trying to quickly hoover up all the food at the buffet after everyone has already left. Summer, usually a lovely hostess, kicks me out and I’m left crying on the stoop, begging for one more ear of grilled corn. Then Autumn wanders by, stops my sulking and we go home to roast some butternut squash and I don’t have to get on Zoloft.

Oh well, cheer up. We’ve still got time to throw a great summer BBQ this weekend. It’s still very warm across most of the country, so why not take the opportunity to cool off with a slice of boozy watermelon? Yes, it’s both alcoholic and food. Some genius person or drunk college kid must have made the first vodka watermelon.

The Basics:

You will need: 1 watermelon, 1 bottle of  vodka* (375 or 500 ml depending on melon size), a knife and a funnel (optional)

* Don’t cheap out and buy the crappiest one. You will be consuming it nearly straight, so make sure it’s something that tastes good.

The Funnel Method:

1.) Cut a hole into the watermelon. Cut deep enough into the melon’s flesh so that the funnel fits. Don’t throw away the piece you cut out! You can use it again as a plug in case you are transporting the melon.

2.) Place funnel into the hole you cut out.  Add some vodka into the funnel. Keep adding the vodka to the funnel gradually, until the vodka is completely absorbed and diffused.

3.) After all of the vodka is absorbed, let the watermelon sit for another 12 hours or so. It allows the melon to fully absorb the vodka. Try freezing the melon for a full day to get a chilly treat.

4.) When you are ready to serve, slice that badboy up and pass it around.

VodkaWatermelonThe Bottle Method:

You can forego the funnel and firmly stick the vodka bottle’s neck directly into the watermelon. Make sure the watermelon won’t roll around or that the bottle doesn’t create a top-heavy wobble. Leave the bottle upside-down in the watermelon and wait for it to empty.

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There are definite tips and tricks to doing this properly. Let’s talk about them:

- Patience and vigilance are the keys. Most watermelons will not absorb the vodka fully in 24 hours. It usually take a few days, and I’ve even heard of it taking a week to make sure the alcohol is distributed well. It all depends on how ripe your watermelon is. Check out your watermelon every couple of hours to see if it’s absorbing, or if it has finished. Even after that, let it distribute and set for a few more hours before serving.

- If the watermelon isn’t absorbing, check the funnel or bottle for a vacuum seal. You might need to break up or scoop out some watermelon to create some room.

- It’s tempting to infuse the fruit with as much vodka as it will hold. STOP. If that’s your game plan, just pour yourself a glass of vodka and throw in some chunks of watermelon. You’ll just have a soggy mess on your hands, rather than a delicate, refreshing snack. Stick to a 375 ml bottle for a small watermelon or maybe 500 ml for a larger melon (soccer ball sized and up).

- The area where you pour the vodka in will be VERY strong. Seriously – eat responsibly.

Watermelon Instructions image: Saylow via Flickr

Bottle Melon image: Grenade via Flickr
 

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